Keeping You Going

Close your kitchen door, organize your jams and jellies and prepare to bake bread. Absolutely nothing smells hungry louder than freshly baked bread. And this recipe is so easy and reliable, even a teenager can do it! Just remember to keep an eye on the beer!

• 3 cups self-rising flour
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 12oz.can room temperature beer
• 2 tablespoons wheat germ (optional)

Open the can or bottle carefully. Warm beer can be quite “frisky”! Sample the beer!

Stir sugar and beer together then stir in flour about as long as it takes to recall a recent kindness. Pour into a non-stick bread pan. Let rise one hour in the warmest place you can find. If available, use a recently turned off oven. Sprinkle with wheat germ. Bake 60-70 minutes in 350 degree, preheated oven. Cool 15 minutes. Invert on rack. Eat as much as you can! Like all breads, beer bread deteriorates quickly with age, refreshes with toasting and is ruined by refrigeration.

NEVER REFRIGERATE BREAD, TOMATOES, BANANAS OR AVOCADOS!

(Makes 12 huge or 24 normal-sized cookies)

The easiest, softest cookie recipe, basic enough to launch an almost infinite variety of variations: nuts, fruit or chocolate or whatever. The yogurt/vegetable oil combo keeps the cookies soft almost forever.

• 1 egg
• 1 6oz. cup white chocolate yogurt (or vanilla)
• 1 tsp. Vanilla
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 cups self-rising flour
• 1/4 cup canola/corn oil

It is not absolutely necessary to be, or to have been, a Boy Scout, to make these cookies! If you are however, select a tree from the back yard. Break off a small branch. Peel off most of the bark. This is for stirring. If you are not a boy scout, you will have to use an electric mixer. Beat egg on high. Lowering speed, mix yogurt, vanilla, sugar and oil. Lastly, blend in flour.

With rubber spatula, “drop” on greased, floured cookie sheet and bake until browned, about 11-14 minutes. Should be brown at edges!

Quick Tip! Real Boy Scouts sometimes add super chunk peanut butter, whole pecans, walnuts, chocolate chips, shredded coconut, craisons (candied cranberries), or sometimes, all of the above! Start with the basic cookie batter and let your mind go wild!

ALWAYS, MIX ALL WET INGREDIENTS SEPARATELY AND ALL DRY INGREDIENTS SEPERATELY. MIX THEM TOGETHER AT THE END!

(4 servings)

Homemade red sauce is like oxygen for the people in my family.

• 1/4 cup olive oil (good stuff)
• 1/4 cup chopped olives (preferably calamata or other salty varieties)
• 1 6 oz. can tomato sauce (or V-8!)
• 1 tsp granulated garlic or 2 tsp fresh chopped garlic if being used immediately
• 1 tsp honey or sugar (optional)
• 1/2 tsp salt (not necessary if calamata are used)

Pour all ingredients into old mayo jar. Shake. Use or refrigerate, eventually.

Never tell anyone how easy it was to make this sauce. Boil any kind of pasta that looks interesting. Drain, but do not rinse. Shake red sauce in mayo jar. Using about ¼ cup per serving in a non-stick pan on high heat. When boiling furiously and reduced by 1/3, add pasta, toss, add Parmesan cheese. Serve immediately.

Quick Tip! Because of the olive oil “seal” this sauce will last longer in your refrigerator than ketchup! That’s a long, long time. Any number of protein supplements can be added at the last minute, but the classic is canned tuna.

ADDING A RAW POTATO TO OVERLY SALTED LIQUIDS WILL ONLY RESULT IN A SALTY BOILED POTATO. TRY ADDING SUGAR OR VINEGAR INSTEAD TO “CONFUSE” THE PALATE.

(Serves from one to four)

Macaroni and cheese may be the most widely tolerated foods ever created. Like chicken soup, it seems to work for everyone from six to sixty.

• 1 pound dry elbow macaroni (or spirals)
• 1 pint heavy cream
• 1 pound sharp cheddar cheese, grated
• 1 3 oz. bag of Cheetos
• 1/4 tsp dry mustard

Overcook elbows. “Toss” cooked elbows, cream, grated cheddar and Cheetos. Bake 400-degree oven in buttered casserole dish until lightly crusted! Microwave reheats

Hint! Do not tell anyone you make this dish, least of all your cardiologist!

(Serves one or more)

This is one of the few confections gentle enough for even the softest mouth. Perfect for snacking or birthday cakes and holidays.

• 1 angel food cake, thickly sliced and layered or whole
• 1 banana, 1 fresh ripe peach and/or a pint of fresh, exceedingly tasty strawberries
• 1 can real, whipped cream

This recipe guarantees that the honoree can eat the cake! Use caution with nuts! Use no hard fruit like crisp apples or extremely acidic fruit like fresh pineapple!

Dust liberally with powdered sugar, including plate edges!

Quick Tip! Drizzling with maple or fruit syrups will add flavor and calories.